Thursday, 10 November 2011

Up The Spurs!

I am a happy man recently. I am writing the best material of my days and my beloved Spurs have had a remarkable few seasons, they are really beginning to get a degree of consistency and we have started spanking the Gooners regularly which is lovely!

But this is not about Football, not directly anyway. Take a look at the photo. It shows Spurs players celebrating their first goal in a 1-3 win over Fulham and for those who nothing about Football winning 1-3 and winning 3-1 are very different because the first number is assigned to the home team and the second to the away team and since it’s often difficult to win away from home it’s always nice to see and important to recognise the difficulties a team must overcome to win away matches!

Sorry I keep going off on one about Football, well I have been waiting 30 years for Tottenham to get their act together so give me a break please! Like I said this is not about Football, primarily, this is about the coming apocalypse.

At some point this is all going to fall to pieces, society I mean. I don’t know when it’s going to happen but you can guarantee it. The universe we live in is made of positive and negative, good and bad, this and that, matter and anti-matter. Everything begins and ends. Lives, books, love, languages, nation states, species, everything no matter how big or small begins and ends, at least it all seems to begin and end if our immediate and singular patterns of thought are anything to go by, perception is the last great MoFo!

Just as many previous social systems have expired so will the current one and we may even be forced into drastic action as has happened many times in the past. We will get through it though, we always do, we’re opportunistic switching predators and we’ll arguably always find a way to survive, I said arguably!

So what does this have to do with Tottenham? Take a good look at that photo, at the fans in the background. Look at the geezer in the yellow hoody what is that he’s looking through? It’s a fuckin’ telescope! In this age of play and rewind and gadgets to get everything from every possible angle who the fuck carries a telescope around? This boy is right up to date he’s like “I don’t want to see it replayed I want to see it right now!” Genius!

When the shit hit’s the fan I can see him as leader of his own tribe on a hill top somewhere over looking what was once Essex. He’ll have gotten to his position of great prestige and esteem with that there telescope because no one else would have packed a telescope for the apocalypse and since all the phone lines would no longer work and the nearest you’d get to electric would be car batteries he is going to be one revered dude.

He’ll be there over looking his kingdom and he’ll warn his tribe “get a load of rocks down to the East there” and some clever arsehole will say “we don’t need them there now.” and he’ll be like “never mind now in a couple of hours a load of Gooners are gonna be coming up that hill and we got to be ready to pelt them fuckers just like when we came back and done them 2-3 at The Emirates way back in 2010 and he’ll go off on one to the younger members of the group about how he watched every goal in glorious magni-colour with his looking device and he’ll scream “Up The Spurs” as the echo of his noble voice will strike fear into hearts of dirty gooners for miles around!

What a photo and that guy whoever he is gets my vote! So Up The Spurs!

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