The Good and Evil conundrum, Relationships, Emotions, Suspicion and The Troubles.

We live in a collection of very suspicious societies and even though most people don’t realise it, we’re very suspicious of everything and everyone, especially strangers, this is why foreigners do not get along when they go from country to country. We seem to be living with some type of “fallout” from the times when organised religion was more or less completely in control of nation states. Even though many of us no longer practice faith we still think along the lines of good and evil. Parents still teach their children about the bad people and the good people and since children are hyper impressionable they then carry these principles into adulthood.

In Northern Ireland we had, and still have, the suspicious principles turned up full. There is a book called “Lost Lives” and it gives an account of every death during the troubles as well as statistics on which organisation (legal and illegal) murdered who. It’s a book which takes a long time to get through because it’s obviously pretty harrowing and I never got close to reading it all but from it and other books which I read about the Shankill Butchers and a few about the inner workings of the Republican movement I began to see something which was prevalent during that conflict, mistaken identities. So many individuals during the troubles were murdered because other people within organisations were suspicious of them and sometimes because whole communities were suspicious. The words suspicious and paranoid are interchangeable.

The “good and evil conundrum” is linked very closely to the “us and them syndrome” and in Belfast Spides and Foreigners are seen in the very same light. I often wonder about how racists can blame everything on the Foreigners while they also heap so much venom upon the Spides, this makes no sense to me whatsoever, because the Spides are from our own stock. The class system which we live within is causing all of this suspicion and uncertainty but the class system is not clear cut. The nature of the working classes has changed greatly in the last thirty years what has happened is due to the rise and rise of capitalistic ideals people remain in the working class bracket while making much more money than others within that category. Money creates so many problems because people have this inherent need to protect what is theirs so they often perceive threats.

A few months back I was in a shop on Royal Avenue and I noticed a security guard acting strangely toward a young lad who I would have estimated to have been 13 or 14, wearing sportswear. The lad was just browsing when the security guard grabbed him forcefully by the arm and started accusing him of “going to steal” the lad was shocked and was trying to explain himself as the guard dragged him out. I went and paid for what I had and when I got outside the young lad was standing with a well dressed lady who I presume was his mother and the security guard, the woman was saying she had sent her son in to get batteries while she was in another shop, turns out he wasn’t going to steal after all!

The problems with living in social orders which are so deeply divided and suspicious are not easily discerned because we consider division and suspicion to be normal. We self justify and reinforce within ourselves and our social groupings that the way we think is the right way. When people challenge how we see things rather than thinking about it and questioning ourselves we just become more and more steadfast in our reasoning and perceive anything from the outside which is even remotely negative as an attack. Here in Northern Ireland and indeed in Ireland as a whole we have that age old “siege mentality” even though there is nothing immediately attacking us we are sprung and ready to defend ourselves. It seems the structure of the world has changed since the days of constant war (different from modern war) but we seem not to have changed and we still think in a very warlike and negative way. Peoples from many small isolated Islands have historically been taken over by outsiders. Britain is a good example it’s like they said to themselves “lets not wait for an attack lets go take over half the world!” of course no one sat down and said that but the mindset to do just that probably emerged from that very principle.

Once more I must reiterate that while you read this you don’t think it has anything to do with you. It confounds reason how we think that we can live in a society which is inherently flawed and not be flawed ourselves. Our inability to confront and own up to our own flaws and misgivings is a major reason why our social order is crumbling the way it is. Somehow everyone thinks they exist outside of society, that they are OK but the problems are being caused by someone or something else. The reason why many people do not like the type of material I write is not because I am an Arsehole or a Liar or an Alcoholic, it’s simply because they are afraid to go too deeply and look at the truth because the truth would mean they would have to drastically overhaul their outdated thought processes and thus completely change the little bubble in which they happily reside. The whole structure of the need to be entertained culture also vies heavily in matters pertaining seriousness. If someone is having a hard time others tend to avoid them because they “can’t be bothered with the doom and gloom” or because “they’ve got problems of their own” this is of course understandable but it is actually clearly a complete lack of empathy, although no one will admit to that because apparently everyone’s right aren’t they? Ask yourself this “If everyone is right, why is there so much wrong?”

I have come to be known as a bit of smart arse, a know it all but I am not really that smart I am just observant this is why many people don’t like me, because I am a threat, I know things through my observations that people would not like you to know about them. We’re all the same as each other. Search google images for “emotions” somewhere there you will find a little box that all the emotions fit “squarely” into, that’s it, everything you hear and see and feel and read is right there. When you’re going through an emotion it appears so complicated and overwhelming yet when others are going through the same thing you see at as being simple and easily explained, because you cannot feel their emotion it’s detached from you and you don’t relate it to what you felt, because you think you’re different.

We are all constantly testing each other. In relationships you will often hear people speaking about the fact that their partners “have not put a foot wrong” or the time “they heard the alarm bells” about an Ex. It’s almost as if everyone is waiting for something to go wrong and that’s why things do go wrong, we make them go wrong because we expect it. I wasn’t just privy to such statements within relationships, I would notice they were being fairly widely used just by listening to how people talk. When people are in relationships they often have a friend or family member who they confide in, someone who they consider to be trustworthy, who they can talk to about their fears and worries pertaining to relationships. It is an important note that many people see themselves as being different, indeed we all do, but this is not some big secret, the nature of humanity can be explained there are instincts and emotional patterns which you can generalise. You can be pretty certain that whatever you go through on any given day has already happened (what’s a Billion Billion?) times, don’t kid yourself you are not unique you are basic, a clone, a repeat! Obviously depending on how regularly a person is talking to such a confidant and the amount of information they disclose varies but the result is that many of us are taking advice from others which has an effect on how we live our daily lives and probably more often than not if someone you trust takes a dislike to a person who you are courting you will end up making decisions based upon their dislike rather than your own feelings and wishes. Something slightly worrying on this note is also that sometimes the advisers need advice so you get people who are uncertain about their own fears advising others on how to deal with theirs, the cliché “the blind leading the blind” springs to mind here. None of this is coming directly from one source in my case, everything I put to paper has been methodically thought out over months and most of what I write actually only gets committed to the page after I have noticed it repeating countless times and repeat it does constantly and undeniably.

Everyone is testing everyone is seems. There is a principle overall of “innocent until proven guilty” but we seem to actually operate on the premise of “potentially guilty until proven innocent”. It’s important to always be aware that your thought patterns are the result of hundreds if not thousands of years of bad programming. Most of us never consider this, we never consider how fallible we are, we believe statically and undeniably that our way is the right way, well if that was the case my good friends and enemies we would be living in Nirvana but we’re not. We all have a responsibility to review our thinking processes, to consider how we treat others but one thing above all else we have a responsibility to stop casting blame and to give each other the right to be wrong. If someone else has done wrong they will be paid back by Karma, it is not up to each of us to decide who will be socially castrated because of what they have done, we have a serious God complex even though many of us do not believe in God it seems we actually think we are God!

If the society you live in is suspicious what does that make you?

I need Porn...

This is not about pornography it’s about Psychology. When I write about serious matters the posts get very few hits but when I write about something personal or something that makes people laugh or anything of a gratifying nature they get lots of hits. This is a sad reflection of us as people we do not want to look at that which matters because we are afraid and that principle of thought is exactly why we deserve to live in our current semi-depressed states. We’re all just gagging for the next bit of gossip or the next sliver of anything entertaining. Unfortunately part of the way in which some of us entertain ourselves nowadays is by mocking people who are emotionally afflicted or just by making it our business to find out other peoples business so we can talk about them around our carefully constructed social campfires. No one wants anyone to know about them but they all want to know about everyone else, it doesn’t make any sense does it? Very little in these confused times makes sense. It’s a shame because we have so much love and potential which we are misusing. This is about Psychology and hopefully you’ll remember that.

Land of the Free?

I was doing a search today for some information about a game I am playing and I get one of these messages having been directed away from the site. Later a friend who’s in America puts one up on Facebook to show what he has been getting. Thing is I am not in America, never have been so why do American restrictions suddenly have an effect here. They put this up under the guise of security, censorship is not security, it’s dictatorship. You will probably see a whole lot more of this happening in the coming months and years but as always the Western Governments do this kind thing really slowly so no one notices the transition and before you know it they’re calling at your door to ask if you’d kindly stop listening to Rap and watching pornography!

Seriously this is an infringement of Human rights just remember that in places like Iran and North Korea they have blanket bans on nearly the whole internet as do Pakistan and other Governments who tightly control their populations. Land of the Free Home of the Brave my BALLIX!

It has been happening for years this gradual decline of rights and people have been saying it was real but everyone said they were paranoid and crazy! Prepare this shit is real and it’s only a matter of time before it reaches critical…

Racially motivated crimes

The news has highlighted something recently, the Stephen Lawrence murder. So lets look at that. A gang of white men murdered a black man. I seen a video on you tube today which seemed to be some attempt at a response to the news of the Stephen Lawrence killing, albeit a distant response. The video was posted by an IRISH you tube user and it was basically a radio news snippet of a report about a racially motivated murder in AMERICA where a gang of black men carjacked a white couple then kidnapped them and murdered them both, it’s a bit worse than that but I won’t go into detail because I am trying to think about the two crimes in as close a manner as I can, the basics are the same, a gang in both cases commits murder. If I started focusing on anything other than that I would end up going along the lines that so many people do. They start comparing the crimes and playing the “which was worst” game.

Murder is murder. It doesn’t matter where the people come from, it doesn’t matter what motivates the killers, if someone is so disturbed that they can take a life you can guarantee that had the “racial opportunity” not presented itself when they committed the crimes they did that they would have at some point killed someone else anyway be it racially motivated or not. I really think we’re missing the main point here. This is not about putting two crimes side by side and weighing up which one is worse, murder is murder. Blacks, Asians, Whites are capable of murder and commit murder, if there were purple humans they’d be at it as well. The issue here is that PEOPLE murder PEOPLE. We really should be asking what could cause one human being to be so insane that they could commit such an act.

I really have no preference for the sort of person who would be attempting to murder me I’d be far too busy gouging’ the fuckers eyes out!

When I had a normal Facebook profile page I used to see “friends” posting things about particular types of people doing particular types of things, about rogue nation states mistreating their subjects and often sporting stories with undertones of division. It’s like these people are posting this stuff in order to state that a particular type of person or people do particular things but if you know about human history you’ll be aware that ALL types of people are responsible for ALL types of crimes, that is categorical, it's not an opinion it's a fact.

We need to start getting over differences between people and start looking at the similarities be they good or bad or otherwise. When the press reports things from the point of view of what type of person did what they are just feeding the fear that people feel and allowing intolerant groups of either colour or creed or whatever to have an example which they can use to further deepen our already deeply divided societies.

So to summarise Blacks, Whites, Jews, Huns, Taigs, Fags, Muslims, Hindus, Bus drivers, Asians, Australians, Spaniards, Yanks, Shop Keepers, Footballers, Chinese, Romanians, Homeless, Wealthy, Purple, Smokers, Tax collectors etc etc et-fuckin’-cetera are all murderers but, hey, they’re all really lovely as well…

CATCH A FUCKIN’ GRIP

Here we go again...

So Iran is developing nuclear weapons are they? Oh but it’s the French who are “disclosing” this time. Of course no one in the West is in the least bit interested in what goes on in the Middle East we’re all hung-over from Christmas and we’re dividing our time between watching the soaps and being enthralled by the potential of a bit of a change in the Premiership race (didn’t say anything about winning it!)

Remember the last time we accused someone of developing nuclear weapons? Turned out that old chestnut Saddam was drinking vodka and rubbin' the stones aff himself while we were accusing him of all sorts of horrors. Granted he was a bastard but we gave the Iraqi people 10 times the dead with all out war than what they would have had had we left him in control. Remember that’s what this is all about control.

No one seems to bother doing the sums when it comes to situations concerning who is developing what. It’s a waste of my time even telling you about the maths involving the manufacture of nuclear weapons if you’re interested you should go look at it yourself but the difference between weapons grade and commercial grade Uranium and Plutonium is vast and the amount of useable material that is taken from the raw ore after the mining process is miniscule. No one ever thinks about this do they? They just see on the News that the Government say “Iran are making Nuclear weapons” and they say “Iranian Bastards!” They don’t go and find out about the process required to make the weapons or the fact that, God forbid, the Government could actually be wrong, I mean they have been wrong before have they not?

It is much more likely that Iran are making Commercial grade material for power but when you consider that Iran has got about 9% of the worlds oil reserves it’s going to be of a major benefit to The West to install a Government who are more friendly and do what they’re told.

I don’t support Iran but war is wrong. I don’t care what supposed good reasons any nation state has for going to war it is wrong. During Wars in the past the ratio of civilian to combatant deaths would have been about 90% combatants to 10% civilians but with the advent of modern warfare that has completely turned to 90% civilians to 10% combatants. More missiles were fired in the opening few days of the current war in Iraq than were dropped in the whole of World War II. War is a sure sign that Humanity has it’s finger on self destruct. When you attack another human or group of humans you are attacking yourself for you will have just become the very thing which you despise in others. If it is not acceptable for them to attack you why would it be acceptable for you to do the very same to them, it makes no sense.

We should not be allowing the people in charge to do what they are doing in our name and anyone who supports war or aggression or even just negativity towards any group of humans for any reason is simply allowing for the conditions that just continue the cycle of pain and suffering for themselves and those they love. If you have hatred for anyone or anything YOU WILL SUFFER, not by the hand of vengeful God but simply because negativity is bad for you. If you dislike something give it time dislike always turns to hatred and it will consume you.

If you have never met an Iranian you don’t have the right to have an opinion on them. There are nearly 74 million people in Iran they’re not all making Nuclear weapons, they don’t all support the horrors of stoning people to death and other gross human rights violations. 74 MILLION people and many of them oppose their government but until you actually know about the cultural, religious and tribal idiosyncrasies of Iran you CANNOT have an opinion on it.

Why is it OK for the Americans to have weapons and not Iran? The Americans have proved time and again that they are fucking crazy when it comes to blowing things up and I won’t even start about the record of goodwill to humankind that the British establishment has.

This is not about me being political and either supporting or not supporting something or other.

War is fucking wrong and that’s IT!

What's Red and...

What's Red and hangs aff a C***?

Arsene Wengers tie!

Let go...

Change is never an easy inevitability but when you become aware of the principles surrounding the fact that it simply is you can become settled and allow it to happen in a more gracious fashion. I didn’t write for about six weeks, not to my normal pace anyway. During that period I have been working and playing Skyrim and funnily enough the last time I took a major break from writing was in 2006 when The Elder Scrolls previous instalment Oblivion was released.

The poems started coming again yesterday and they are strange, very unlike my earlier work, more open ended and very ambiguous. I am becoming adept at explaining things very concisely with precise two, three and four word combinations, very quick, very fluid and lateral. It’s like I don’t know what’s going on as it’s happening and only after rereading a few times do I begin to see how I am working the words. This kind of thing happened before back in 2008 when I began writing spoken word and though the subject matter and structure of the two disciplines is very different I appear to be approaching things from the same place with the same type of inner resolve. It’s good not knowing there’s much less effort involved.

Having the ability to let go is crucial. Often writers try to be in control and find themselves being frustrated by their own attempts to master the art. Having something you can focus on helps, something that doesn’t involve the art in anyway and even spending long periods not talking about it or thinking about it are a psychological way of letting go. When you’re too far in you begin to be drawn by the technicalities of it and fail to notice the beauty and simplicity of why you need to create in the first place. I think it happens in stages which will of course differ slightly for each individual but the core remains we are always moving toward something, the next thing and it can only be realised after the process is allowed flow. Accepting all of your work is important and not telling yourself the older stuff is badly executed rather that it’s been worn and you’ve become too accustomed to it so this has changed how you perceive it.

The ferocity I once had is gone. I don’t write everything down anymore, it’s like I have become much more selective and there’s a clear partition between think writing and writing writing. Ironically my poetry is becoming scaled down and simplified in technical terms while my prose is more lengthy, more descriptive but when you think about it that’s maybe how it’s supposed to be. I hope at some point I can merge the two although it’s not something I am even remotely considering. Yet.

Letting go is the key. The more you’re willing to risk losing the sweeter any rewards that come will eventually taste. Let go…