Sunday, 6 September 2009

Not long till November.

This blog lark is dead on like, I am getting off on it rightly, not literally. I currently have six "followers" one of whom is myself. Yes I have decided to follow myself interesting concept since I have no fucking idea who I am! I have been wandering around since my conception and to be truthful I have no idea what I am doing here
And from the strange and often disturbing behaviour I witness from others no one else seems to know what’s going on either. Following myself is quite easy these days because I am always sober, boring but sober. I am still an unpredictable fucker but these days I am bearably unpredictable. Not too long ago I never knew what I was going to do next it was very disturbing but great craic at the same time.

I have looked a lot at different theories throughout my short life thus far and found them all to be very shallow. If any organisation contains even the slightest hint at something being taboo I get immediately suspicious because rules always end up being broken in fact there just seems to be an unwritten rule to automatically try to break rules or at least bend them to the point of cracking then back of apologising and saying “I was only joking.”

There are just far too many questions that simply can not be answered rationally of course you’re going to find a myriad of idiots who claim to be able to answer said questions but these answers often involve a bearded man (not Adam Loughlin or Hotrod) who walks on water and gets climactically doused in vinegar just cause he told some children stories, ah well the Romans were the Nazis of their day. None of it makes any real sense. I remember being in Primary 6 as far as I can recall I was around 9 at the time and during R.E the teacher told us to draw a picture of the ascension so I drew the cave and trees and shit and Jesus going up into the sky with one arm pointed upward like he was being plucked by an invisible force. Everyone laughed at me saying Jesus looked like superman and I said well if he could do what they say he could do he was superman. The teacher liked my picture because no one else had drew a figure of him they just had wavy lines and other non sense representing a soul. Even back then I was firmly grounded in the reality of what I could and could not see, subsequently I have since seen ghosts but I am very cautious about these apparitions because I am well aware that alcohol, drugs and even a lack of food or sleep can warp the cranium. You can’t even trust your own mind, it’s laughable.

I meet people who make me laugh daily. We all think we’re so together and so sorted out. I meet people who are adamant that they know exactly what’s going down on this whatever the fuck it is that we occupy and I try to explain to them that fucking billions of dead geniuses couldn’t figure this out so what makes a part time barman from Cullybacky who smokes cannabis and once got lifted for robbing a chicken Tikka sandwich from the Tesco on the Dublin Road any different but he doesn’t answer that question because he’s fictional, I made him up to use as an example.
I do however know a part time barman and a boy from Cullybacky and a boy who smokes Cannabis and a boy who got lifted for robbing a chicken Tikka sandwich from the Tesco on the Dublin Road.

Yes folks I am afraid we’re all just as blind as the next person we’ve all been deposited here, literally. I mean think about it you came out of an orifice that your Da uses to piss and went into an orifice that your Ma uses to piss before subsequently coming back out that second orifice. I hate being blunt but them’s the facts people. So the real answer to the joke: Q) “What goes in and out and smells like piss?” is actually YOU!

PS The answer before my revelation was: A) “A gypsy doing the hokey cokey!”

And here’s the joke again because there’s bound to be at least one twat who couldn’t get it in the form I wrote it in above.

Q) “What goes in and out and smells like piss?”
A) “A gypsy doing the hokey cokey!”

Blog out. Séamus.

Saturday, 5 September 2009

No title as yet these are apparently random thoughts that have begun to take rational form.

Been spouting this stuff a long time just getting round to summarizing it all now, it’s pretty deep.

So after 37 years locked in this human known as Séamus I have seen, heard and felt much. I have tried to be funny and have only positive emotions all the time but found that this one sided view of life will not work due to the fact that the universe is a combination of positive and negative and we being part of said universe therefore must follow those simple rules no matter what our little supposed self determining brains keep whispering to us and hey we’re all fucking crazy anyway so if you’re actually listening to those voices which you all ready know to be extremely inept when it comes to rational decision making you’re not only delusional you’re also potentially fucking homicidal, so either top yourself now and save a few lives or go live in a country where guns are more easily acquired. (PS Hanging is best once the carotid arteries get cut off you only have 7-12 seconds worth of oxygen left in the brain before you go unconscious, trust me you won’t feel a thing, I tried a few times it nearly worked.) But never mind my dreams back to the crux of my thesis.

Positive and negative.

These concepts are relatively simple getting punched is not nice (in most cases) while making (fucking) love to a beautiful woman is positive (in most cases). There is however an area which will not be discussed here in my thesis and that is the grey area between positive and negative where getting punched by while making (fucking) love to a beautiful woman bring a dilemma which blurs the philosophical boundaries of pleasure and pain (see later thesis called: I am crying but I love it.)

Trying to explain these concepts is pretty difficult for many reasons the first being the fact that I am trying to highlight faults that exist within the collective society where we all live this can cause many problems the main one being that I will have already lost a huge swathe of the population during the first sentence because the lure of either TV, Sport, Drugs, Alcohol or Pornography are much more interesting than questions of moral integrity. The second is more complex I am attempting to explain matters of the human brain with a human brain and since my brain has been systematically abused physically, chemically and existentially since my mid teens holes the size of eye sockets may be found in my arguments so hey bring it on turn the other cheek and I’ll break your fucking chin (only joking, (maybe.)

Positive and negative are effected by mood and I know you may be thinking this is all very basic stuff and so it is, but think for a moment. Did you ever do something to another person or do something which you later regretted and actually asked yourself Why did I do that? If you have never had this feeling fuck off. If you have read on. (Just lost another bunch of retards to the five controlling factors: TV, Sport, Drugs, Alcohol and Pornography which I will from now on refer to as TSDAP.) So here we go when you’re in a good mood everything seems fine and the opposite can be said when being in an opposing mood. A good mood is very favourable so when in said mood we will try our best to keep that lovely feeling at all costs when we encounter others with bad moods we avoid them and even talk very badly about them blaming their miserable behaviour on the individual alone. This creates a type of social division in which those not having a nice time are sent to the metaphorical fringes of society and in extreme cases these individuals end up so disaffected by their exile that they become totally cut off from the collective while individuals within the collective use those outsiders as examples of how not to behave so as they themselves can strengthen their position as apparently “normal” members of society. However from a philosophical point of view there is no such thing.

So lets look at the collective in more detail. When we all were born the collective was already here so in reality no one is totally an individual many of us share multiple traits with others and get through our lives with little consequence. It is only in very extreme and often dangerous cases that people come to the attention of others as being potentially harmful, this can be defined in many different ways, so many in fact that I am not going to start explaining them all here. The collective is a very loose term it is fairly obvious that we do share much in common and that all our similarities can be used to foster bonds with our fellow humans but just as apparent and much more worrying is the way in which our similarities can be used to coerce people into acts of hatred and even violence. People are pretty basic instinctively they will often do and say things on and against others that they would strongly protest about if the same actions were to be carried out upon them or their kin yet even though they themselves may have been through hard times which caused them to make bad decisions they forget all this when their mood is better. These traits are repeated in all aspects of our lives on a daily basis. When people take a dislike to another individual for whatever reason they will (in many cases) begin to despise everything about the other person even though deep down they may actually enjoy certain aspects of said person they will not allow themselves to be seen to do this by others. This same “denial” can be seen also in more extreme cases. It is not alright to murder, people get jailed for it and yet those in power can send troops to other countries to murder enemy combatants and for anyone reading this who just said “yeah but that’s different.” I am afraid you’re suffering from collective denial much like the rest of us. What I am getting at here is basic “Is it alright to murder someone?” and the answer is clearly sometimes.
This very tribal behaviour is everywhere from nation states protecting their interests to single individuals protecting their friends we all do it without realising it is pure instinct but we excuse it as necessary because in very simple terms we don’t like being wrong. We’d rather risk being found out as hypocrites than be wrong that shows how much concern we have about other people disliking us. Most of us take the safe option and choose theories that are held to be righteous by the many this way even though we are wrong hey millions of others think the same way don’t they so that makes it ok doesn’t it? Does it? This blog is pretty fucking intense and it’s doing my head in now so I’ll continue it at a later date. Peace or is it war! ;)