Tuesday, 25 October 2011

Gaddafi, Saddam and Hitler

So Gaddafi was found in drainage pipe, the entrance to a sewer or the exit from depending on how you look at it. Remember where Saddam was found? Hitler and his bunker! All these things have something in common the places where these dictators where found or indeed where they died have a common theme. Read the news reports about each event and you get a real sense that the people writing them are firmly on the side of the opposition in all cases and the way they write these things makes the person in question look like a coward, a rat in a sewer, literally in Oule Muammar’s case.

Of course what is being overlooked here is that the Western Governments have just ousted another dictator and in effect just made an instant friend in a region where the West is not entirely welcome. I use the term “friend” loosely. Strange how it all works out isn’t it. They actually look like they’re welcome there and that it was right to partake in war, but war is still wrong even if you can justify it, it’s wrong. War is a sure sign that the human race is slowly self-destructing itself. We are divided and as long as we have these divisions we will not reach anything resembling peace. It is interesting that in order to achieve “peace” countries go to war and in every conflict they all say they were just defending themselves but attacking is not defending!

Please take care when you believe what it says on the news, it’s propaganda, remember that. I have visions of Hitler running along an Avenue in Berlin like Arnold Schwarzenegger a gun in each hand singing Horst-Wessel-Lied, somehow with a potato masher between his teeth gunning down hoards of Russians! Of course I am exaggerating for a fact but you get the idea. The enemy is always going to look bad to the winners and they will make them look worse.

I will not go into the Occupations in Iraq and Afghanistan in detail but it is very safe for me to say that since both those countries were annexed by Western Armies (a decade in the case of Afghanistan) we have not given them a better way of life we have just given them War on a grand scale. I am not saying Saddam and the Taliban were good people or that they didn’t deserve it but we have problems of our own which we really should be sorting out instead of flying around the world blowing up Muslims. It’s a disgrace, the amount of money being spent on War could vastly improve the lives of so many vulnerable and needy people here at home.

Enough said I think…

Saturday, 1 October 2011

The right to be wrong

A major reason why there are so many fragmented families and relationships these days is due to our inability to give each other the right to be wrong. During my drinking days I really had seen it all, I was involved in and witnessed so many trivial arguments that often ended with people not speaking again for a long time afterwards, sometimes people never spoke again, I know of cases where this is very true right up to the present. For the majority of people issues outside their own lives are unimportant so the fact that I am mentioning a myriad of isolated and separate incidents in very general terms means absolutely nothing to them. We work pretty simply and singularly when it comes to matters of a volatile nature, if it involves us or those we love we’re “interested” if not it doesn’t register. The same issues that we show no “interest” in may be just as important to others as our own issues are to us but because it doesn’t involve us we often fail to see those issues in the same light as issues that do involve us. This is simply another aspect of our selfish nature, our inherent self importance. If it effects me it has greater importance. Simple.

I have seen some stupid things that happened through alcohol make people stop talking to each other for months. At that point it was no longer the issue that was getting to them it was very simply their own pride, or often their misplaced sense of pride. There is something very basic about all of us which not many of us can freely admit to and that is we don’t like to be wrong or more specifically we don’t like others to tell us we are wrong. I have seen and been involved in really trivial matters where I could not just hold my hands up and admit that I was wrong, instead I would skirt around the issue and find a way to put some of the blame back onto the other person. It’s this kind of “yeah I am wrong but…” attitude that so many people have nowadays. Competition. Remember that old adversary? It’s being used always, daily, in all aspects of our lives even in the most trivial meaningless matters we just do not want to be beaten. When you start being honest with yourself you will begin to see these issues in yourselves and once you get to know yourself you will begin picking up on these ancient traits in everyone. People would rather go without in some cases than simply admit that they’re at fault. We all do this. Since I have become aware of it I am trying not to but it’s difficult because our emotions lie to us.

People are so similar it really is unbelievable that we so readily recognise difference. The main reason for seeing difference so much is that each of us has an ego and it is out to protect us so it always sees matters involving us as having priority over what is happening with the rest of the tribe. The ego is very stubborn. There are a lot of people who will look at the sort of things I have been posting in my blog and they’ll automatically say stuff like “Who does he think he is?” “He’s a smart-ass.” “He thinks he’s better than everyone else.” The reason for this is also that same ego it will not allow anything or anyone to have a say in how it runs its host. It is a self-protecting ghost of a person that must change how the individual looks and behaves depending on what it sees as being beneficial for the person. These matters I am discussing effect us all and trust me they can ruin your life and make you very unhappy. I went through my own personal hell and I have been trying since I have come to these realisations to change the way I do things and for the most part it is working.

When something happens where you have gotten into a disagreement with someone it is important to seriously take stock and ask yourself “How important is this issue?” and can it be resolved without the age old mud slinging that tends to happen when we get stuck in a corner? Fact is we’re all going to be wrong at some point and if you have people around you who you have grown a rapport with you will give them the right to be wrong and it will be returned. I have been looking back on my life and I can see clearly moments in the past where I was wrong but I still would not back down when people tried to point it out to me. I can also see that in some cases the people were doing what they were doing because they cared about me and loved me but I was so blinded by my own inability to recognise that I would have cut off my arm rather than accept a watch as a gift. That analogy is a bit rough but I hope you can begin to see where I am coming from here.

We all get it wrong sometimes but we should really be giving people a break. I understand that with some people you can try and try and get nowhere but for so many people they simply do not know another way so they keep making bad decisions. But just remember if you give others a break someone may be there to give you a break when you most need it. This life is shit but if we all try we can make it a little easier for each other.

Of course there are some people who for whatever reason simply cannot be reached and with people such as these it is important to know when to let go. It can often be difficult due to emotional attachments but sometimes you just have to do things for your own sanity and hope that one day those people will find their own way. The reason I can say this is because I was someone who was very depressed and difficult to be around and so many people had to let go of me. I can now see how they were thinking back then and have a new found appreciation of what I put loved ones through.

I am going to be ready to start this book soon these blogs are practice I know that some people read them regularly due to the stats and I would like to thank you whoever you are for taking the time.

Take care of yourselves and each other.


Expecting perfection

For individuals who are so inherently flawed you would think that we would start looking inside ourselves for answers rather than striking out into the world asking advice from others who are, wait for it, inherently flawed! It is easier to see flaws in others because we have been taught to look after ourselves and part of this involves not making ourselves look bad, defending ourselves. Problems arise because sometimes it is important to recognise where you have gone wrong but a lot of the time we fail to do that because we don’t want to look bad so we cover up our mistakes and blame others. Some people go through their whole lives unable to see their own mistakes because of this and so end up being very bitter and angry without ever knowing it.

Equally I have often seen people defend their loved ones when said loved ones are actually in the wrong. I have seen members of my own family do this and it’s very harmful. They do this out of a completely misplaced sense of duty but this can cause problems to the individuals who are always being defended because they may never get to see where their mistakes lie. This sheltering of people is commonplace in our society and you end up with people who are so sensitive that they have difficulty relating to anyone who does not match up to the long list of things people shouldn’t do that they have locked firmly into their instinctive drive.

No one admits to being on a perfection quest but that is exactly what we’re all doing. Apart from you of course because you’re not like the others. When we go looking for someone we aren’t really looking for a person in particular all we really want is to dispel the gap in our lives. No one wants to be alone so finding someone to share our lives with is very important but since many of us struggle with our own inner turmoil being with someone is often not achievable. When eventually we find someone everything then becomes about what they can do for us, How do they fit the model we have in our minds of what a good partner should be? Of course we are also willing to do whatever it is we do for them but initially our considerations are mostly selfish and for some it remains that way and how successful a relationship is will depend on each individuals ability to play give and take with their partners. It must be remembered that all of this is pure instinct and often we have no idea what we’re looking for, we just know when we think it’s either right or wrong. The need for human contact overrides all else, especially in procreative relationships. There are of course cases where this need itself is overridden but that’s a different matter altogether.

To be successful in relationships you must be selfish and you must find someone who’s comparatively selfish. Disproportionate relationships seldom work and if they do at all it will usually be a struggle for either or. The competitive streak we have comes firmly into play during relationships. It is a game of dominate or be dominated. Do not take the word domination out of context here though for domination can be very subtle, so subtle the dominated person may believe they have more control than they actually have. I always hear a lot of men saying they’ll do anything for a quiet life. They often say it jokingly but women are naturally moulders and shapers of people. Women bring up the children and have a very natural tendency for control. When we live our lives we never think about how these ancient principles at our core effect us, as far as we’re concerned we’re firmly in control of our lives and everything about ourselves but this is not true.

Gender roles are always changing according to the climate of society at any given time but some things transcend time and that is that potential partners need to be offering us something if we’re to succumb to their advances. Nowadays someone who has a good job, a car and doesn’t live with their parents are what many people will be attracted to but not only that of course most people want someone who looks good, speaks well and is admired by others. I could keep going with what the world looks for in his wife but in short can you see how that is selfish? It is not seen as being selfish because it is so normal. So many potential partners already have the material well-being that people are looking for due to the economical situation over the last 3 or 4 decades so what happens is people get fussy and they want even more, these expectations vary wildly from individual to individual but the base principle is always the same. Proof lies in a very simple fact humans are inherently judgmental, we have to be. We are programmed just as the other animals are to look for symmetry and beauty in the opposite sex. Obviously there’s much more to it than just that, the laws of attraction are not easy to understand and experts even don’t fully get it but we do tend to work on an image basis don’t we? I mean no one goes out of their way to pull the smelliest person in the club do they? even though said person may have a fantastic personality. it's all about the personal preference of each individual.

Each persons idea of what they believe is perfect is different but since perfection does not exist there are going to be a lot of very disappointed individuals out there, and there are. Being in bad relationships can have adverse effects on people as well they can end up being so fussy that they are impossible to be with. We all have our issues but when they’re stripped down the basic mechanics of humanity are always there behind them in each of us. We have been taught by are parents that we’re worth it but sometimes this can be a bad thing because it can cause people to believe that they deserve more than they actually do or it can make them think people should go out of their way for them when they themselves are unwilling to do this for others. The whole field is just a massive game and we’re no better than the birds or the lions or any other animals the basics are the same. Our problem is that we think we’re more important than we actually are.

The reason why all this stuff is coming out is because my family is an utter shambles and I am busily trying to make sense of it. I could go back to those involved and strike out at them but I won't do that I have let go of them because they are bad news and they are so negative and caustic that they make everything around them that way. I am in the midst of a process of change and I am just very happy at the moment that rather than turning on those who are striking out at me I can theorize and make sense of things in a much more meaningful way. :)

love and peace always...