Tuesday, 29 January 2013

Asserting Peace, Conflict and Not Reacting.


I don’t go to peace rallies.  I wouldn’t urge anyone else not to go in fact I think it is a very noble way for people to show their feelings but I worry about the concept of opposition.  The reason why I would not tell anyone that they shouldn’t go is because that would mean I was opposing them and that is exactly what I need to talk about.

I felt like writing this some weeks ago but I have learned a very useful tactic to keep my equilibrium in check, time.  When something happens and I find myself being emotionally drawn to it I leave it be and allow time to work on it.  This doesn’t quite change my perspective it’s more that I can see that things are better looked at from a calm frame of mind.  You will not be able to make balanced decisions if you are imbalanced so it best to back off and allow events to work themselves out before lending yourself to them.

Before I begin please don’t kid yourself into believing that recent events in this country are in anyway isolated.  What is happening today must be taken within the context of the conflict as a whole.  What a lot of right thinking people do is believe that because they have been leading relatively stable lives that that is somehow the norm but that is not true because for two groups of people here nothing has ever changed, their communities are much the same as they were 10 or 20 years ago and their mindset has certainly not shifted during that time period.

Any type of opposition is by its very nature an entering into the realm of conflict.  I know peace rallies are supposed to be peaceful and in most cases they are just that but even by making a point in this way people are actually standing within the confines of the conflict itself for it is the conflict which has stirred them to do that which they are doing therefore they have become part of it because they are showing opposition to it.  Think of two magnets which have opposing poles, if you don’t put one against the other nothing will happen but once they are in close proximity the struggle begins, a basic analogy I know but think about it.

There is something about the psychology of opposition which is often overlooked when people take up any given position in the midst of a conflict.  Opposing something is really just a recognition of it and I am sorry but opposition actually leads to furthering the cause which is being opposed.  If there is an attack and you either then attack back or choose to defend yourself you are simply allowing the cycle to continue and giving those who attacked initially the attention they require to keep going.

I have been listening very intently to normal, right thinking people during the last couple of months and what I am noticing is people who would not normally be intolerant becoming intolerant.  They will be getting very angry and calling the rioters scumbags, they’ll find every way they can to mock those who are engaged in civil disorder, talking at length about their mothers and fathers being ill reared and they’re all unemployed and inbreed and thick.  Anger causes people to do and say things which they would not normally do or say, that is common knowledge but is it alright?  I mean is it acceptable for you or someone you know to talk so viciously about any other human being?  Of course you may believe your reasons to be righteous but are they?  Is this not just the very same method of making excuses that those involved in the rioting are guilty of?

Whether or not the people you’re talking about deserve it is not the issue here.  The issue is balance.  If a certain other group of individuals are behaving in a particular way that is one level of imbalance.  People who behave that way are obviously not stable but this is Northern Ireland and people have been behaving that way for hundreds of years and whether you would like to admit it or not there are actually reasons for why these people behave as such, insecurity, self confidence and self esteem issues, a lack of belonging, feelings of hopelessness, I could go on! 

If you live in an imbalanced world, which we all do, there is always a chance that you yourself will become imbalanced.  Granted it may be the actions of others which cause your imbalance but why things happen are much, much less important than the very simple fact that they have happened.  I lived most of my life being completely imbalanced and it nearly killed me.  It has only been very recently that I have discovered how to keep myself going in a straight line and all I am doing is passing that on and I hope that some of you will respect that and I also hope you may get something from these musings because I am not doing any of this for myself.  The modern age is a mess and it has a tendency to drag us all down.  Temptation is abound and we must all take a great deal of care with our own wellbeing because we do not only aeffect ourselves by becoming imbalanced, we also aeffect those around us.

 Here’s the crux and many people will not like this because it concerns them.  If a group of people are doing this, that or the other thing for whatever reasons and YOU then react to it and begin hitting back at them, YOU are the one who is at fault because it is YOU who has lost control of yourself and allowed yourself to react.  What you are doing by reacting is saying it is alright to react this way when it isn’t alright because reacting simply allows the cycle to continue and that is basically what has been happening here for further back than anyone can remember.

Always be aware of the good and evil conundrum and check yourself because we all have the tendency to see things in a very absolute way when the world we live in is anything but absolute.  When you are dealing with vulnerable people who have a myriad of social, emotional and mental issues things cannot be looked at rationally because those who are engaged in violence do not know about rationality, they are broken and confused and their actions are being dictated to them through minds which have an inability to fathom normality and common sense.  If you allow your frustration and anger to boil over you will become similarly confused and end up doing and saying things which will only further worsen the difficulties in our already deeply divided society.

I was regularly checking a couple of Facebook pages that have since been shut down which were to do with the Loyalist protests.  I know the guy who started The Peace Gathering in Belfast and just before the first one I became very aware how he was being discussed on these pages and to be honest I was a bit worried that he may have been becoming a target.  I sent messages to a couple of mutual friends of ours just telling him to watch himself.  This is a good example of how something good and righteous can be viewed as being anything but by others.  The people running those protest pages were connected to the protests and that whole community was in a state of paranoia so their decision making was all over the place.  They were angry and they looked at something which was peaceful and well meaning as being one further attack on their culture and national identity.

Another thing I became concerned about was the manner in which those running the Peace Gathering page were behaving.  They were being very standoffish towards people who would come on and try to say that there was a chance of a counter demonstration, which was being talked about at the time.  Of course with hindsight both Peace Gatherings went off without incident but the moderators on that page should not have been deleting comments and telling those who were urging caution to wise up because this is Northern Ireland and we should be very careful about how we deal with potential violence here because the past is a reality and indeed the threat of new trouble is still a very real possibility. 

That is the thing that surprises me about us.  Peaceful people actually believe that they can be so flippant when dealing with those capable of violence and murder.  There were going to be families with children at those peace gatherings and that should have been considered above all else.  I am not attacking those responsible I am simply urging common sense when being faced with the potential for an escalation of violence and at that point there was a very real threat of it happening.

I could cite an old Christian principle right here and I will but I will use it very loosely.  Turn the other cheek!  I say I will use it loosely because I know for a fact that if I were attacked physically and I was not unconscious afterward that I would almost certainly respond in kind.  I am using it as an example for how we should deal with matters on a collective level.  We should not have to assert the fact that civil disorder is wrong because that is obvious, why should we waste our energy?  It may seem obvious to us because we are rationally minded but it is plain that people engaged in the violence have a differing outlook, else they would simply not be behaving as such.

So what can we do about it?  Like I said earlier I really think that people taking part in those rallies have very noble reasons for doing so and they are clearly on the side of common sense but why should we have to do that?  I believe there is another way, a much more righteous way, why don’t we all just go about our lives and live life how it is supposed to be lived?  Life is often a series of challenges isn’t it?  Well why don’t we take everything as a challenge and just do what we are doing in spite of the protests?  When we react we are simply showing the people who are involved in the violence that they are making our lives difficult and that seems to be exactly what they want or rather need to hear.  It’s like they have a basic need to feel some type of emotion, any type of emotion to continue and when we respond in the same manner as they first did we kind of make it alright, if you get my meaning.  When we all go off on one calling them scumbags and adding our venom to the collective pot of disharmony we’re doing nothing other than feeding it.  Remember these people are deeply paranoid so by reacting we are actually telling them that is true.  They already believe everyone outside their own communities is against them and what we’re doing by responding to them is saying “Yes, you are a scumbag and you’ll never amount to anything.”  This makes them more angry and more apart and thus the cycle continues unabated because the very people who should be showing common sense have allowed themselves to lose control and instead of distancing themselves from confrontational matters they have entered it. 

It all sounds very easy doesn’t it?  Maybe some people will accuse me of being unrealistic but to be honest I no longer care about how people see me.  There is a simple principle I have learned by my own accord and it has changed me into the person that I am from a person who was deeply unhappy and self destructive and that is simply to live and to have gratitude for life itself, simple.  Life is amazing and the sad fact of it is that most of us do not see it that way.  We struggle and fight with ourselves and each other because we are unhappy but you must make your own happiness and you will not do that by offering opposition to anyone else for any reason.  If you believe my theories on happiness to be airy fairy then I am afraid you may well be more imbalanced than you care to admit.

If others are doing things which we deem to be wrong it is none of our business for they will have to deal with the resulting energy Karma that they create.  If people are trying to make you react ignore them and live life with a smile and a kind word for those who wish to live it similarly.

Anger is not how we should be dealing with people who are angry for that only serves to further their anger, let them be angry and their anger will in time dissipate when they realise it is not having the aeffect that they thought it would.

When we mock human beings who are insecure and emotionally and socially isolated we just drive them further away and they will in time come back and attack us for people are merely energy, that is all, it’s just energy and we should keeping our own energy in check above all else and those who live in a disharmonious way will see how we are living and they will want it but they will not want it if we are being aggressive towards them for that is simply showing them that we are just like them.

We need to be more grateful for life itself.  We are taking life and each other for granted and allowing our emotional instability to create what we currently have which is a world of deep, deep division and disharmony.

I am sorry for repeating myself so much I kind of went off on one and wrote this last few paragraphs on auto pilot.  I am not doing any of this for myself.  If we keep disrespecting people who are already without feeling it is us who are responsible for their actions, not them, because we are supposed to be the ones who can see common sense so we should start acting like we can.

Saturday, 26 January 2013

We’re laughing at murderers.

I have gotten my head around something recently which is not so much difficult to understand, it’s more difficult to fathom.  I have been looking closely at the links between humour and seriousness.  You can draw a lot of your own conclusions with regard to this but I am sure you understand the basic precepts of the sliding scale of balance, in this case obviously the scale with humour at one end and seriousness at the other and of course we’re all somewhere along that scale.

Some people pride themselves on their sense of humour just as others would equally relish in their seriousness but some people equally use humour and seriousness to redress their own imbalances.  You’ll sometimes find people with deep depression pretending to be alright and I know one fella in particular who is an absolute master at keeping a completely straight face while arbitrarily ripping people to pieces for his own personal amusement and the amusement of anyone who’s lucky enough to know him and know what he’s at, that seems to be his own unique brand of humour which is rare and very funny.

No one gives too much thought to humour or how it works, it is something that we just use and I believe that most of the time it is completely instinctive, even when it is being used as tool to redress something or other.  I am probably way too serious myself, some would say, but to be honest I spent most of my life laughing my head aff and I kind of see my recent chilling out as being something that happens naturally with age and experience.  I still love a giggle I am just more fussy these days, seriously, you can only laugh at the same shit so much before it gets trite!  On the other end of the scale it is difficult to rile me now as well, much more difficult than it was, so that I suppose that really is balance.  Having said that I am aware that I am good at the moment and I am by no means saying that it’s great and always will be, God knows what’s going to happen tomorrow!

The interesting thing I have found out recently is in regard to our collective humour.  We’re dark here, very dark, growing up in Craigavon we had many areas that were completely mixed and slaggin’ was part of the set up and sectarian slaggin’ was also part of the game, it was rarely taken seriously.  I touched on slaggin’ not that long ago when I wrote an essay about the riots/protests but I am getting something else now which is maybe a little bit deeper again and I am not sure a lot of people are fully aware even of their own levels in regard to how and when seriousness and humour are appropriate.

So really serious head here for a minute, it is needed to grasp this.  We’re in the middle of a full scale culture clash here on this tiny little piece of land.  Most of us can live with each other the very best but it is of course well documented that some people are unable to live with one another, in short, they hate each other.  As far back as many hundreds of years ago we have been killing each other, I am not getting into the ins and outs of who started what and when and all that because I am aware of how tribalism works and I am not interested in feeding that beast, I am looking at things very subjectively and stating it just how it is.

From very early on the factions who have been participating in the violence have been relatively small in number in comparison to the population, especially recently.  If we just look at the period from the early 20th century before Partition until the recent troubles you will find there to be too many dead to count and very different accounts of numbers of dead depending upon which side you ask. From 1969 until 2001 there were exactly 3,526 people killed, mostly civilians.  

I’ll write that again:  From 1969 until 2001 there were exactly 3,526 people killed, mostly civilians.  

Now during that very period most of us just went along with our lives because it became a way of life didn’t it?  I mean what else could we have done?  While it all was going on I believe we got a kind of ‘collective trauma’.  This is something which I never hear talked about.  I am not widely versed in Sociology aside from my own musings and some bits and pieces that friends have pointed out to me so I am sure there are studies on this kind of thing somewhere.  But it isn’t something which is widely known about and I know this from how people see that period of the troubles.  Again, depending upon who you ask you’ll get differing accounts but War is War, it doesn’t matter who started it or who may have won or who done what, War is War and people die, in this case mostly civilians.  I am not concerned at all about the sides and how they lined out and who done what, I am simply concerned with the overall picture of this ‘struggle’ and how it impacted the Country as a whole and even the Island as a whole.

Mostly civilians.  Think about that for a moment.  We were all targets if we were alive during the troubles.  All of us.  Some more than others obviously but there was a chance it would happen and I am sure many of us know people who had near misses and brushes with death and most of us know someone who died or was involved in some way or another.  That’s how our conflict differed so much from others, it was really woven into the life of our country and conflict continued right along side what we came to know as life.  Simple.

Seriously give it some thought.  Conflict on that kind of scale is not something which you would ever consider to be normal is it?  There have been many conflicts which were much worse but I think it is very, very rare that a conflict could continue for 32 years and be so close to all of the people in such a small and relatively developed land.  That length of time coupled with the divisive nature of the conflict make it quite unique and worthy of much more study than is currently being undertaken.  Indeed I think the Republican and Loyalist communities should be studied in depth, not Historically, presently.

The psychology of this is deep and really disturbing and I believe that we developed our very dark sense of humour as kind of defence mechanism.  Among people who have suffered trauma you will find this kind of divergence of the emotions where the wrong emotion can sometimes come at very inappropriate times.  Often people will laugh when something horrific is happening because they have a complete inability to fathom or comprehend the seriousness of the matter they are facing so they use emotion, very instinctively at times, to try and offset the depth of the experience.  Again I have not done any studies on psychological matters I only know what I know from personal experience and observation.

When I want to discuss matters such as this I find that very few people wish to engage and this is because of fear.  They don’t know they’re afraid and they don’t want to admit that they’re afraid so what they do is either find a way not to talk about it any further by citing the seriousness of it all or they could focus on the person talking about it and come out with statements about it being depressing or they may even find a way to attack and undermine people who they deem too ‘serious’.

It is depressing and I have to say something which needs to be said

“Depression must be faced and it must be felt in order for it to be overcome.”  If you don’t face those demons they will either kill you or emotionally cripple you.  We must go through emotion in order to understand it.

And I believe equally for collective emotional matters, our past needs to be faced and we need to understand and come to terms with the concerns that these people within our community are facing, both sides, Prods and Taigs.

When you understand subjectivity and I mean really understand it, not just be aware of it or be able to rely the dictionary definition.  I am talking about truly getting the depth of what we deem to be right and wrong.  If you take a side in any given conflict it is highly unlikely that you understand subjectivity because it is too easy to simply state that this one is wrong and that one is right.  There are rights and wrongs on both sides, indeed all sides, and sometimes wrongs are allowed to lead to further wrongs and further and sometimes hundreds of years can pass and the people in the present have no idea exactly how it all got so out of control.  Sometimes certain people can see something as being perfectly justifiable while others see the same act as being criminal but who’s right and who’s wrong?  Depends on who you’re aligned with doesn’t it?  A good example is Nelson Mandela, one group of people said he was a terrorist while others made him president!

I think I went a little bit off track there but not too much because it is all relevant.  The main push of this is to look at our collective sense of humour.  Like I was saying about people using humour as a kind of defensive ploy to stop themselves from being aeffected.  Defragging any society is not an easy thing to do because when you’re dealing with numbers of hundreds of thousands or millions it is difficult to generalise but a certain amount of generalising can and must be done in order to see things clearly.

When I first started looking at these matters it used to completely boggle my mind but I have kept looking and after close to four years of pretty intensive research in History, current affairs and human behaviour I believe I have a very good understanding of the way societies operate.  I am not quite ready to theorise in a categorical way just yet but I am getting there, indeed when I look back at the types of essays I was writing in 2009 and 2010 I can see a clear development in what I am saying.  I have got less opinionated and more exact, more comprehensive and in my personal life I am pretty much non judgemental now and I can carry out community work with a great degree of empathy for the people who I work with.

During the troubles those of us who were not directly involved were in a very strange place.  Even though we didn’t take part physically most of us did mentally.  We still had allegiances and it is very difficult to find a person who is completely impartial here.  Despite the fact that most people didn’t take part in the struggle directly they did lend a lot of support to it and whether you like it or not or whether you care to admit it that support was part of the struggle as a whole.  Another thing you would have found would have been very large numbers of more liberally minded people especially in the middle classes who may not have supported violence but they did support their respective communities and held strong religious and Nationalistic ideals, people like this still make up the very core of our country and again they may not like admitting it but I am sorry we’re all part of the same ball game here and if you’re staunchly Irish or staunchly British you are part of the overall problem in this country.

On the spectrum of Northern Ireland you have the Prods at one end and the Taigs at the other and the rest of us all somewhere in-between with varying degrees of opinions and allegiances.  No one looks at a country in conflict in this manner, they get lost by focusing on the those who are taking part directly and don’t think about all the others who can sometimes have subtle yet important influences upon the conflict.  Despite what most people believe the problem here is Irishness and Britishness, it is not those who are taking part in the conflict directly who are completely at fault for they are simply asserting and defending their cultural identity, they may be doing this in a way that many of us see as being extreme but to be perfectly honest Human beings are and always have been tribal and war like so it mystifies me as to why there is so much surprise.  That is something which I fail to understand about most people, their lack of comprehension, there is no difference between conflicts happening now and conflicts which happened 1000 years ago.  The reasons for conflicts come down to the same common denominators humans/food/resources/wealth/power.  The reason why people fail to understand conflict is because they stop looking at it subjectively and begin getting stuck on singulars and rationalising ie these ones invaded so it’s their fault.

Human beings are war like and inherently violent given the right circumstances and no amount of love or peace rallies or reconciliation is going to change that.  My views on these matters are not popular because people do not like the truth, they would rather pretend everything is alright by any means necessary than face the harsh realities of our species.  

I started talking about humour but I took necessary side tracks because I wanted to explain myself as fully and comprehensively as possible.  To understand conflict people must first be understood and when you get down to the basics of human behaviour you will draw parallels and conclusions which will leave you in absolutely no doubt that the similarities of human kind across millennia far outweigh the differences.

So here’s the crux of it all and I think it pretty mind blowing to be honest.  It is plain and we all know it’s there but we don’t think about much or maybe we think about it in a sort of detached manner which stops us from realising how powerful and influential it actually is.

So you have a deep conflict which is hundreds of years old continuing in the present.  Dissident Republicans are still a big threat and the Loyalists are not happy about how their culture is being ‘eroded’.  And then there are the rest of us. 

I am deeply worried about the rest of us because we have a very obvious cultural denial that is fuelling the division between to the two more extreme factions within our society and one of the main ways this is apparent is through our sense of humour.  Some Facebook pages sprung up after the current protests and riots which mock the Loyalist community in particular and I know of a other such pages which are aimed at the Republican community. 

Think about please carefully.    

What is happening here is moderately minded people are making fun of people who are very volatile and who are highly likely to carry out acts of violence.  We’re laughing at people who are capable of murder, does that sound normal, it certainly seems to be a bit perverse to me.  I have only really started looking at this in the last 4 or 5 days but the more I think about it the more I am convinced of the madness of it.  I remember when some dissidents got off with a charge last year and Facebook was lit up with jokes and jibes.  It isn’t the serious stuff that I would worry about anymore because I am concerned more about these subtle influences, things which people see as being harmless but which are anything but harmless.  Everything single thing that everyone of us does has some effect or other, it may not always be completely apparent what the effects are but we all influence the wealth of the group to some degree.

We are laughing at people who are capable of civil disorder and murder and I bet that many of those doing the laughing and joking would not be able to explain to you why they are doing it if they’re asked, they would no doubt tell you that they’re just having a laugh!  Leaving those who are doing the laughing and mocking aside for one moment lets just look at those who are being mocked.  These are groups of people who already have a high degree of social dysfunction. They are socially isolated groups who exist on the fringes of society.  They feel that they are victims and they feel that they don’t fit in and don’t belong.  They have nothing to lose because they have nothing so being  members of extreme organisations is preferable to complete isolation.  These groups prop themselves up with Historical myths and stories about the other side.  They have a very child like outlook on the world and see things as being constantly against them and here we are laughing at them.  Mocking extreme groups will only serve to isolate them even further.  

It’s strange because we do this type of thing with so many other groups as well.  We mock the Spides and the Foreigners, the homeless and addicts.  Often the people we mock are in terrible social situations and this mocking while seen as being a good laugh is actually just pushing these people further and further away and probably making them more and more extreme and the shocking thing is that no one in particular is to blame for it because “We’re only having a laugh aren’t we?!”

I believe that we all need to start thinking very seriously about ourselves and how we fit into our world because currently there is not only a large degree of apathy but there is also this kind of very dangerous and very invisible fuelling of the conflict by people who think it has nothing to do with them.

We’re laughing at murders. 

A rethink is required I believe.


Friday, 4 January 2013

More musings about emotions


There are things that we’re not taught when we’re younger regarding emotion which we really should know.  We should be learning how to regulate and cope with emotion from early on but there is currently no remit whatsoever for emotional matters so people grow up afraid of themselves and afraid of each other.  Please don’t mince my words here, when I say afraid I am talking about being unable to face or deal with emotional matters rather than a blinding fear.  I was having a discussion with someone a while ago and I was talking about the inability to bridge the generation gap, you know, rather than learning from the previous generation children just end up repeating the same mistakes again.  The guy I was talking to said something which I found interesting he said “Well you can’t stop puberty, so therefore whatever happens as a result of that is just how it is!”  Those were not his exact words but that was the essence of it. 

I have been thinking about this ever since and thinking about how a lot of people go off the rails to a certain extent in their early to mid twenties of course most of them sort themselves out and lead happy and productive lives but in all seriousness, what a waste of time.  I did this.  I started drinking when I was about 13 then started smoking Cannabis when I was about 14 or 15 then went on to do just about every drug you can imagine and that was more or less it or me.  As a result of that beginning I continued that mode of behaviour, which is to say I came to settle into a way of life which was dangerous for me physically, mentally and emotionally. 

So why the big story about drugs and drink?  What does all of this have to do with emotion?  Well not many people actually realise that alcohol and drugs are directly linked to emotion and even fewer people will care to admit this.  Admissions about the true nature of why people drink especially would cause too many people to actually have to take a serious look at their own emotions and due to that overriding fear I mentioned earlier people just don’t want to do that.  All through my working life I drank very heavily at the weekends, indeed any chance I got I drank very heavily but while it was all going on I couldn’t have told you why I was doing it because I had not stopped and looked at my emotions and I was engaged with people during those drinking years who, to those same degrees, weren’t thinking about it either. 

Drinking is good craic!  That’s what many people will tell you.  So what does that mean?  Psychologically I mean if drinking is good craic does that mean sobriety isn’t?  It would certainly seem so.  There are people who would not even feel confident enough to hold a conversation if they hadn’t had a drink let alone do something like chat up potential mates.  Drinking gives people confidence and makes them better able to laugh and have a good time.  Now think about this seriously.  This means that they don’t feel that way naturally and that is scary, that they need substances in order just to pass as a normal human being.  All this ties back to the inability to express or understand our own emotions and the evidence for that comes simply from the fact that if something is a certain way then the opposite of it must be true.

What happens when we’re young is that we’re made to accept emotional versions of ourselves, we’re not taught to control emotion.  When a child cries we pat their heads and say “Awww”  but when they laugh we laugh along with them, so laughing is seen as favourable and crying as not but to go further the child then becomes accustomed to this behaviour and gets used to having other people there as emotional regulators.   Emotion is widely accepted as something that just happens and the way our family structures and close emotional ties have evolved is that when emotion happens someone will be there to give us a hug and tell us it’ll be alright.  This behaviour does not allow us to cope or deal with emotion it is nothing other than a metaphorical plaster and so when emotional matters occur we get used to having people around to do that type of thing for us.  Have you ever heard people say when they’re in emotionally challenging situations “I’d love a drink?!”  Same thing as with those people to give us a hug, emotional regulators, external sources with which we identify when we find things too difficult to cope with and this is quite simply evidence for the fact that we don’t have an alternative anymore

What is the alternative?  There only is one, go through the emotion, let the emotion happen.  Emotion is natural even the bad emotions are natural but if we get used to having plasters for our emotions it means we never get to face and come to terms with them and so we spend most of our lives looking for things to make us feel better when emotions happen.

Another misunderstanding about emotion is the way we interpret the emotions of each other.  People want to be happy but remember they see themselves differently to how they see others, so they are much quicker to ignore their own emotions while focusing on others.  Have you ever heard the way people who write celebrity columns talk about Victoria Beckham?  They never give the girl a break.  They constantly call her miserable but think about it she could ill and not feeling great but as far as they’re concerned she earns X amount of money so she should cheer up!  This is unrealistic and it just shows up how judgemental we are generally.  Similarly some years ago in a place I worked there was a girl who was very beautiful but who didn’t smile a whole lot and a guy kept commenting about it and he was saying it in such basic terms, “she’s good looking so she should be happy!”  Is happiness dependant upon looks or money?  This inability to empathise with the emotions of others is just another branch of our general struggle with all things emotional.

There are those who constantly go around pretending to happy.  These are the type of people who try to drag others up onto the dance floor at functions with cries of “Oh come on why so miserable!” and this type of thing is another way that people have learned as a kind of patch for actually coping with emotion, they focus on the emotions of others as a of way of showing up a glaringly obvious contrast between themselves and the other person at that exact moment.  These type of people make it their business to try and make others happy because deep down they’re not very happy themselves.  Similarly some people will constantly focus on whether or not others have a sense of humour as a means of making themselves appear more jovial. 

When I speak about these types of people I am talking about personality traits rather than trying to slate anyone.  All of the different ways in which people learn to regulate and express their emotions have happened as a result of a lifetime of ‘steps’.  They have learned to be the way they are due to upbringing and world exposure.  I am not trying to make anyone look bad here and indeed none of this is aimed at particular individuals and I am not writing clever little hidden digs in these passages all I am doing is looking at and seriously trying to understand my species and myself.  I don’t think I am anything special I have just learned about myself and I wish to pass this information on because I have been able to stay alive by understanding the processes by which I work and I hope that it may help others.

As I said earlier about the guy who was talking about being unable to bypass puberty, I think he’s right to a certain extent but I also believe that if people were taught about emotions when they’re younger that they would have better control during that very trying time.  Also and very importantly it is key how the people around us act during this time as to whether or not will react more or less, currently the teenage years are widely accepted as being just that and so people grow up expecting teenagers to act a certain way and indeed teenagers will subsequently excuse their own behaviour for these very same reasons.  There is no remit whatsoever for emotional teaching in schools, this is wrong.  Kids learn about emotion in a very haphazard way even the most important of emotional matters, sex education is a laughing matter for children and this all stems from the adult populations inability to fully comprehend the magnitude of proper emotional ties themselves.  When children get to an age when they’re asking about sex the parents are afraid to talk to them about it, not in all cases obviously, but I am speaking collectively for the most part because with regard to emotional matters there is a lot that can be generalised. 

The main problems that human beings face in the 21st Century are exactly the same as they have always been.  Most people are blind as to where our actual problems are coming from indeed exactly what they are.  If you ask people about the main stumbling blocks that we now face you will no doubt get a wide range of answers and for the most part many of them will at least be partially correct but there is something people have been doing for a very long time now and that is singular thinking.  I have come up with ideas surrounding singular thinking and have been expanding upon my knowledge of it over the last couple of years.  In basic terms singular thinking happens when people focus on a particular thing, an aspect if you will and they get stuck there and come to believe that that is the overriding problem.
I goggled “humans greatest problems” and on the first page I found a site from the University of Western Australia’s faculty of science.  I have included the link at he bottom of this article.

Here are the top ten things which they consider to be humankinds greatest problems:

Energy, Food, Poverty, Disease, Democracy, Water,
Environment, Terrorism and War, Education, Population.

Singular thinking is being used by these current thinkers to great æffect and once again I wish to reiterate that I am not slating anyone I am merely trying to point out that we’re not looking at the obvious things when we think in a singular fashion.   I don’t want to go into each of them in individually for that would merely be using the very same singular thinking processes which I am trying to explain.  Lets look at all of them.

Firstly what are they?  All of these things together?  What makes them similar?  They’re certainly issues, the obvious thing that I get when looking at these human issues is that they are all matters which can be regulated.  Human beings can control exactly how these matters will transpire so the issue then becomes how are we controlling them? 

Can Terrorism and War be controlled?  Yes they can, Terrorism and War are actually the same thing, the term ‘Terrorism’ is used to describe a particular type of combatant but they’re combatants none the less.  So what they have done is expand the meaning of War to take another branch of thinking into consideration.  It is this type of expanding which we are guilty of that is making simple matters appear much more complicated.  In fact making Terrorism part of this equation is merely used to more clearly define which side those speaking are taking in the ‘War’.  War is wrong, but they don’t want you to know that so they add a dimension to confuse you and in æffect they can make War appear right in certain circumstances.

Why am I going into War?  What does that have to do with emotions?  Well War and the other issues listed are indeed obstacles in the 21st Century but as I have said they can be boiled down and made to look simpler if they are thought about in a more common way.  As I have said we control all of these matters so the question once again is how are we controlling them?  Most of them are also things which humans need in order to survive, or things which we need to regulate in order to survive.  I am going to take a big jump down through the lowest common denominators here and hit you with the actualities of this shit.  Survival of the fittest!  It is still a game of survival of the fittest and these thinkers in this University are probably not even aware that they are in the middle of reinforcing this ancient aspect of humankinds inability to be at peace with itself.

If people could agree with one another they would be able to successfully regulate and master all of the above issues facing our species so there’s my lowest common denominator right there ‘a lack of parity’.  That’s it, an inability to agree with one another collectively makes all of these issues impossible to master.  So what does that mean?  It means that we need to start looking at why we don’t agree. 

Here’s where the difficulty begins.  Humans are currently fragmented into smaller groups and tribes known as Countries, Religions, Nation States, Races etc etc.  So depending on who you ask you’ll find a different reason for an inability to agree eg “They started it!”  “We were here first!” blah blah balh!

So I thought this was about emotion?  Why the big story?  Everything is linked to emotion because people are dependant upon emotion and when large groups of people respond in a Warlike way it is because enough of them feel strongly enough about something for such action to be taken, it is more or less ‘a collective emotional response’.  If you take away peoples means for survival they get emotional! Survival of the fittest!  Or more commonly if people THINK you might threaten them in way they’ll get emotional, PARANOIA!

People are stubborn so when they fail to agree on matters they tend to get entrenched, because quite simply they are tribal in their nature and they’re looking out for the interests of their own tribe often to the detriment of others.  It is almost as if we just have a natural tendency to not agree, its seems to be a kind of default with us and it is all linked directly back to emotions and instincts but no one mentions this, no one says hang on maybe we should be looking at our instincts and emotions which are causing the disagreement rather than focusing on the matters that we can’t agree on because it seems to me that our inability to agree is stopping us from controlling the things we need to regulate in order to reach stability.  THIS SHIT IS SIMPLE! SERIOUSLY!

Food and water on the list, why are food and water considered to be problems?  Well not everyone has enough food and water?  Why?  Why don’t they have enough food?  Because they’re poor?  They don’t have enough food because some of the rest of us have got too much.   Why can we not feed them?  We can’t feed them because we have tribal political systems in place which stop us from allowing others to have a chance to be a stronger tribe than us.  It’s kind of like pre-emptive warfare, I mean if you’re looking out for own tribe why would let others have a chance to get the better of you.  Think about this stuff it’s really very true and it all comes form our reliance on emotions.

No one cares to consider emotions and instincts when looking at human matters because it seems we are just so lost in the issues themselves that we honestly don’t envisage that the major problems we face are actually inside of us and not in the world.  Remember that constant thinking that we need something when emotions happen that we learn in early childhood?  That seems to be similarly linked to this inability to actually stop and take a good look inside of ourselves for when anything happens, and I mean ANYTHING, people constantly look outward to try and find answers but the answers my friends are much closer than we think, they’re inside us, they’re inside all of us!

Peace and love.    

   

http://www.science.uwa.edu.au/research/top-ten